Divorce. If you want to get technical, I was married. Eight years living with someone having kids with them, I guess after five years your considered common law husband and wife. which I think is a cop-out. So technically I was married, so therefor I got a Divorce with out the alimony. I wont go into the muddy, gory details, I've had enough of that. Plus I highly doubt anyone wants to REALLY hear me complain about how unhappy I was.
So yeah, Married with no ceremony, I guess that was the biggest heartache for me. wanting something with the person you loved just to be faced with excuses. But I guess that's all in my perspective. Oh I am bitter aren't I?
So what if I am? I gave up a lot. I really did.
So this is going to be a shocker, I left. I left EVERYTHING. The House, the kids, the car, the pets. Everything. Eight years of building a life and I left it. Now I left on my own. I did not run into the arms of another man nor did i move in with one. I stayed with friends. And Im still getting myself together. Shoot I just barely got a job not two days ago.
The thing about break ups, is they aren't easy. I don't care what anyone says. No you can't still be friends, yes it is tough. Even if you where unhappy for the last two years of the relationship. It still Hurts. Hurts really bad, you go through so many emotions. I myself still do. Its been about three months, I know no time at all, but I was REALLY unhappy, I'm not going to sit here and say it was all his fault, but I'm not going to sit here and make excuses for him either.
The one thing I've learned through all this, is to trust in myself. To be proud of myself. Its hard to see yourself and be positive in such a negative situation. But it happens, you start finding humor in things (Xiggie for example) and if you have a support group then your golden.
What I assume I'm trying to point out is, yeah my heart hurt, still does at times. However, there's something to look forward too. there really is. So hang in there, there are people who care about you. It might not fill like it but there are. Keeps those people close, they will help you through the roughest times. They will pick you up when you are down, dust you off, and help you.
Till Next Time
Emma
